i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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