Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
