help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
