i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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