if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
