I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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