there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I want to have your abortion
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize