I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize