you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
