make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
They took my balls.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
