I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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