brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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