Is it normal to miss your booty call?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
