shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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