There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
