Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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