So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
