I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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