the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
