our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
