When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
