Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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