i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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