We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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