just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I will be naked everywhere
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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