Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
