Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Randomize
