I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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