Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
