I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
