Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
