Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
nutella sex= disaster
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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