Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
