wakey wakey hands off snakey
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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