I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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