I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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