does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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