sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
