i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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