fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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