I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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