if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
