At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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