I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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