new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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