there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
