Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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