i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Two words: nipple clamps
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