Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
