sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I can't turn off my feet"
I have feelings that need drinking.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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