I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
