So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Two words: nipple clamps
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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