turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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