So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
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