dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
