margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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