is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
