Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
