The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
