you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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