You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
my being single is dangerous.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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