Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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