Non-Jews are for practice
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
