what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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