Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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