Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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