Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
