So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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