apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
